Chapter One - Intro to a fairy tale gone horribly wrong

 I will give you a little info about myself. I am 30 years old, single, never even been kissed. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and that has made me somewhat retarded socially. Up until I was 29 years old, I was kind of a head in the clouds happy go lucky person. My mother was my best friend, my co dependent partner, and my everything.
I tried to be "normal" I got a college education after sampling about every major there was to offer, and settling on religious studies because, hey when all else fails it never hurts to learn more about Jesus and other religions so I can witness to them better, right? To this day I have no earthly clue what career I want, if I can ever work again, but I am getting ahead of myself.
I have a history of mental illness, although if you looked at my family long enough I think you would find I am one of the sane ist (if that is a word.) Basically, I was your typical someday my prince will come if I lose enough weight and become a pretty enough, successful enough, fill in the blank. Terrified of responsibility because my mother always did things for me I began to believe I wasn't capable of most things. My social anxiety made it such that working outside my home became pretty difficult and I never had a full time job longer than 6 months. I had frequent bouts of depression, but my mother took care of me and I knew unconditional love. That is the most precious commodity that we often take for granted.
Most of my time was spent planning this future that would be amazing. Wedding dresses, children's names, decor and interior design out of magazines, even home school curriculum and private schools. I would imagine this perfect ever after life I was going to have. I would do crafts, own animals, have a loving husband, and be a homemaker. I designed wedding dress after wedding dress. I clipped out clothes from magazines that I would wear when I was thin.I sang a lot. Music is a big part of my life. I love everything from Mozart to Mariah Carey. I sang in church, had private lessons in college and music became a very large chunk of my identity. I may be a lot of things but I can sure sing.Singing and writing and reading are the three biggest things in my life, at least up to this point. Runescape is up there pretty high now lol but I digress.  I had all these obsessions, fueled by novels I read, places I wanted to visit. Never did I really get that we make our lives what they are, they usually don't just happen, and that happily ever after isn't really a city or country on this planet.